Motherhood is wonderful, it really is, but rarely does it go as smoothly as diaper commercials so often portray.

My life as a mother began almost 6 years ago and since then there have been many “UGHHHHHHH REALLY?!” moments.

Some happen daily, some (thankfully) were one-off occurrences, but between nosey neighbors and being at war with my own clothing, it’s really amazing I have any hair left at this point.

It’s a good thing I can laugh at them (and myself) because they are far from in short supply.

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Yes My Baby is Trying to Ruin Your Party

When I had my first child I lived in a little 500 square ft apartment. It was cramped but it was also amazingly updated and in a really nice community.

While it wasn’t explicitly a child-free complex, they certainly did not go out of their way to make it child friendly. There were dog runs and monthly wine tastings but there wasn’t a children’s playground to be found.

Obviously the vast majority of residents did not have children and enjoyed their peace so they could wine and dine with other similarly childfree friends.

Apparently for one neighbor in particular, a sick baby crying did not fit into their idea of the perfect Saturday evening.

They were so annoyed that they actually called the police for a noise complaint.

Of course by the time the police officer actually arrived, I had finally managed to get my baby to sleep and was a disheveled half asleep PJ dressed mess when the BANG-BANG-BANG of the officers pound yanked me and my baby back to consciousness.

The officer was kind enough to tell me that the caller neglected to inform the call-line that it was in reference to a baby and instead just said that we were being extremely noisy and had the TV blasting (because yep that always helps me get my baby to sleep *eyeroll*).

Why are Lawnmowers so NOISY?

As I have been sitting here writing I’ve gone from my happy place to being extremely annoyed.

Why you ask?

After an hour trying to get my baby to successfully take a nap my neighbor decided now is the perfect time to mow his yard.

Meaning after only 15 minutes of free time my baby is now awake, bright eyed, and bushy tailed. Oh and now he is weed eating…. just wonderful.

The Wet Pants Struggle is Real

You are probably thinking that this one has something to with diapers….

NOPE, those are a piece of cake compared to this mess.

You see my son has a vendetta against me taking a shower.

It never fails he can be happy as a clam until mommy has slathered shampoo in her hair, then SCREEEEEEECH.

So I finish showering in under a minute, hop out, dry off, and then have to deal with my pants.

I wear A LOT of yoga pants and leggings and let me tell you they are impossible to put on when you are still slightly damp.

My foot always gets stuck as my baby is losing his mind and everyday I end up muttering a few choice words under my breath along with “this should not be this hard!”

Crying Over Spilled Milk

Breastfeeding simply did not physically work out for me, so I pumped and fed for as long as I could.

For those who have never had the joy of doing this it is a PAIN.

Every feeding went like this: transfer refrigerated pre-pumped breast milk to bottle, soothe screaming baby while breast milk warms up in warm water bath, spend thirty minutes feeding baby, assemble pump, pump for 20-30 minutes, put away expressed breast milk, clean breast pump parts, try to get an hour of sleep before he is up and hungry again.

I did this for FOUR months.

Needless to say I regarded my breast milk as liquid gold.

You know what does not mix well? Transferring precious breast milk and sleep deprived parents.

There were days where my husband and I would miss the bottle completely, drop a open bag, or worst of all forget to put a liner in the bottle.

Few things could make me feel a soul crushingly defeated as my breast milk splattered over my feet.

Money (literally) Down the Drain

My youngest is normally a “grazer” which means he likes to eat small amounts extremely frequently, however he also hets extremely angry if we run out of milk mid feed.

Formula is expensive and due to his eating habits a more than half full bottle reaching the one hour limit happens way too frequently. I hear the old cash register *Ka-ching*  every time as I empty those half -drunk bottles down the drain.

Someone Parking Too Close

Nothing will send me into a mini mommy rage faster than coming out to find someone has parked a few inches from my car.

Car seats are bulky, and with a twenty pound baby in them they are HEAVY.

Every time I end up having to crawl over my oldest son’s booster while precariously lugging my baby to get him the car,

I end up whispering a mini- monologue about inconsiderate people under my breath. I haven’t resorted to it yet, but one day I’ll probably pull out the Parking Citations I received as a stocking stuffer.

Isn’t it AMAZING how much motherhood can change our perception?

I don’t remember ANY of these everyday things annoying me back in the day.. so what drives you nuts? I’d LOVE to hear your stories!