"I Do" and "We Do Too" : Including Your Children In Your Wedding

When I got married my son had just turned two and while I was beyond excited to celebrate marrying the love of my life, I also wanted celebrate the family we were creating.

In this age of blended families, weddings have come to symbolize not only the union of a couple, but the creation of a new family unit. This is a beautiful thing and there are so many creative ideas for incorporating children into your event. Here are my tips for including children in your wedding, keeping you sane, and making it a truly memorable experience (in more ways than one!)

Ask For Help

For those of you with younger children this is a must!

In a traditional wedding there is very little down time for the bride (or groom) to be. From when I first got to the venue it was go, go, go. First make-up, then hair, then putting on my dress, then time to walk down the aisle, pictures, greeting guests, dancing, and so much more!

I did not have the time (or lets be honest patience) to corral my meandering child throughout the event, honestly I’m not even sure I had time to eat.

So enlist the recruits!

The great news is that weddings are one of those few times in a person’s life when all of their family and friends are in one place and I am sure one or two wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on your precious darling(s).

Be selective and make sure it is someone you trust (so maybe not Uncle Charles who likes his scotch a bit too much). I personally had a team of family willing to help keep an eye on Jude and it truly made the day so much more enjoyable(for him and me)!

Let Them Be Involved

There are so many great ideas out there for including children in your wedding.

From creating a one of a kind sand filled frame where the blending of the layers represents the melding of the family to having your children hand you your rings while standing at your side. I promise the memories (planned or unplanned) including your children will be some of your favorite.

Given my son’s age we knew anything could happen so we tried to select age appropriate ways for him to be involved. I made a “Daddy here comes Mommy” sign, which my mom ended up carrying along with my son down the aisle.

We had my dad bring him up for his own special part of the ceremony where we both said vows to him together and gave him a St. Christopher necklace and a stuffed penguin (because we wanted it to be something he could get excited about as a toddler as well.)

We did our traditional first dance and then had him join us for his own dance.

We took several photos with him (well as much as he would let us) and my amazing photographer managed to capture a few adorable ones of him being himself while we were busy.

Kids Will Be Kids

There is no easy way to put this but kids will be kids even on your wedding day.

Your future stepdaughter isn’t too happy about her dad getting remarried?

Yes she will probably still be grumpier than the Cookie Monster on a diet on your wedding day. Still try to include her but don’t get wrapped around the axle if her little pre teen attitude shines through, just let it go and enjoy your day!

My son was too young to have much of an attitude about the wedding, however he was still very much himself. He wanted to run, play, and chase butterflies for the majority of the day and, while my family was watchful, they let him be him!

Also my make up artist was so good I’m not even sure he recognized me at first. He just kind of looked at me like I was some abominable snowman hybrid and ran for the closest adult he trusted to protect him from whatever was going on. I laughed it off I mean really what else was I supposed to do?

He refused to walk down the aisle so he was carried sippy cup and monkey in tow .

He ran from us after my dad put him down at the alter like “nope I’m outta here” (before we even said our vows to him).

And you know what? It was okay!

My friends and family laughed with us and some of my favorite pictures from that day came from him trying to examine and then play with the many layers of my dress and from him scoping out a huge landscaping rock while the rest of us took photos.

It may not have been what I planned when I envisioned his parts in our day, but he made all of them uniquely him, which made them even more memorable to me. So if you are having nightmares about your child making a break for it during the ceremony, don’t worry it happened to me and it entertained the guests more than we did!

Weddings, life, and especially children are unpredictable but amidst the chaos a beauty can be found unlike any other.